Michael Richards Thrown Out Of Community College Classroom

Michael Richards began his first day in a cultural sensitivity class today at a Los Angeles Community College. Arriving twenty-two minutes late, carrying a briefcase, and appearing to be in black-face he stumbled into the classroom after swinging the door open violently to applause.

Michael is most well known as the hipster doofus "Kramer" from TVs Seinfeld. Later he starred in The Micheal Richard's Show that had a short stint on NBC. Recently after a racial outburst at a comedy club, his publicist insisted he attend the course to show the public he does not hate "the blacks".

When Professor Bryant asked why he was late, Mr. Richards stated that he was up all night due to a certain roasted chicken dining establishment which had placed a large neon sign directly outside his window. This coupled with not being able to use his favorite Afghan kept him up all night, the Afghan was still being dry cleaned at a discount family rate as I write this. Several dark skinned persons questioned Michael's skin-tone as not being natural and offensive. He responded to them by telling a story of how he has a "glow" to his skin from using a tanning bed. Because he isn't getting sleep at home he dozed off in the bed and obtained this very rich dark skin-tone.

Students were told to present themselves before the class and explain how racism has affected their lives in some way. Mr. Richards, when at the podium, told a long meandering tale about his friend Bob Sacamano being a "person of color" and they hang out all the time. He further added how once he was arrested for suspicion of being a "pimp" due to a large colorful fur coat he was wearing "this one time". When students mentioned that no one had ever seen Bob to verify his race, Micheal slipped on nothing and fell behind the podium. He grabbed at the chalkboard and pulled it off the wall as Professor Bryant approached and told him to return to his seat.

Mr. Richards was allowed to remain in the class until he began to smack his desk and shout. Apparently he thought one of the students looked like Joe DiMaggio and was trying to get his attention, but the unidentified man was "like stone". He was unaware that the baseball legend had passed away in 1999. The students told "Kramer" to leave the room for causing too much disruption. As the Seinfeld star picked up his briefcase to leave a student asked what was in it and Michael replied "crackers" in a high falsetto, then exited.

Tippy Toothtaint Jr.
Central American Div.