Stripper Found Attending Local Community College

Boulder City, NV-Stunned patrons of the Beaver Hole Gentlemen's Club, a locals only nudie bar on the outskirts of Boulder City, were stunned to find out that clothing removal technician Christy Clitoris was indeed attending a local community college.

"She always said she was just stripping for college, but hey, they all say that", stated long haul truck driver Buford "Bonecrusher" Johnson, who is said to have dropped thousands of one dollar bills on the stage, just to have Mrs. Clitoris pick them up, hands free. Upon review of the ample evidence supplied by Sudonews, Mr Bonecrusher was upset, emphatically stating, “If I knew that money was going to college, I would have never given it to her."

Chris McQuinn, one of her classmates at the college, was suspicious of Mrs. Clitoris from the beginning. Mr. McQuinn recalled, “Once day she walked into the class in some tight jeans. I thought I recognized that camel toe from a bachelor’s party a couple years back-trust me, it was the biggest moose knuckle I’d ever seen. As I recall, she was twisting off beer caps with that thing.”

A check of the birth and academic records revealed the most shocking point of all, which is that Christy Clitoris is actually her given birth name. Gentlemen's club historian and attorney Buckinald J. Stevens III, Esq., estimated that this is the first time in recorded history that a pole swinger was actually telling the truth. "I have studied many dancer and professional porn actor names and can always find that the names are truly false. Sometimes, like in the cases of Billy Chode and Stacey Blumpkin, they obviously used their middle names in place of their first names. The odd part is that Christy’s middle name is Mercedes, the third most common car based stripper name, behind Lexus, and in the Deep South, Ford F-150.”

When faced with the daunting evidence of Mrs. Clitoris' truthfulness, Mr. Bonecrusher stated, “Okay, she was telling the truth about her college, and her name, but them bodacious titays ain't real. I've seen a lot of sweater puppies, and those dogs was store bought. If you don't believe me, ask my right hand, those jugalicous knockers were pure silicony."

An examination of Mr. Bonecrusher's Popeye sized right arm, juxtaposed against his Olive Oil sized left arm, solidified in Sudonews opinion, that Mr. Bonecrusher is not a stranger to the sweet release. After a Sudonews undercover investigation, which included several lap dances, a couple facial cleavage insertions, and one reach around, it was not determined if Mrs. Clitoris' milkbags were real or not. Sudonews is dedicated to answering this pressing question, and this is just the first in a 16 part series into the validity of the funbags. Stay tuned.

Pete Sudo, Sudonews, Las Vegas Bureau, with contributions from Brandon Sudo, Editor-In-Chief, East Coast Bureau.